my life truly has been in shambles.

Hey guys, it’s been a long time. Normally, I would apologize for my absence… but this time is different.  I’ve lost something. Something near and dear to me, a part of me and my soul. Maybe some of you know what I’m talking about, if you keep up with me on other websites.
I lost my dog; for a month he had been missing. I did everything I could to find him and bring him home- until one day I got a call.

Tobi had been found.
Dead.
On the side of the road, buried under the melting snow.

So, I have been dealing with grief and depression for a while now, but I am really trying to get it all back together again. So as a part of that I kind of want to list off some of the things I’ve been dealing with, both good and bad, so that you all can have a little more insight to my life that is in shambles.

Let’s start with positives….
+ I’ve managed to keep my grades afloat, despite extreme disconnection from school
+ After talking to my advisor, we have figured out what career I should strive for
+ I have gotten a new family puppy named Dixie, I love her
+ Finally over my terrible cold
+ Finally cleaned my room
+ Have a summer job secured (IF I choose to go back to hellish working conditions)
+ The roommate I didn’t like moved out
+ I’ve been getting enough sleep
+ I’m finally over my douche bag ex
+ I have an abundance of Grad School options
+ I’m on track to graduate in two years
+ I’ve been invited to tag along to an amazing convention this fall in Santa Fe

Now for the negatives….
– I have fallen behind on assignments though
– I feel no motivation for school
– I have no job
– I have no idea how to get out of my lease so I can move next year
– It’s still snowing
– The only guys who hit on me are over 24 years old….
– I have $71 to my name
– My dog is dead
– Even if I move home this summer, other people I don’t like are there
– My dream job still won’t hire me for the summer
– I want to paint but can’t afford art supplies
– I miss my dog
– I can’t afford to eat
– I can’t afford to drive home
– I can’t find a good place to live in this town
– I can’t transfer
– I hate this town
– I keep losing things
– Bad luck has been following me
– I can’t stop procrastinating
– I randomly start crying all the time

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