a writer’s life

that’s what I’m realizing I’m made for. In all reality, I have virtually no friends, I am always at home alone left with my own thoughts, I am virtually penniless, and I love to write. Maybe I am just stereotyping myself, and generalizing writers as a whole, but this is just how my life has been going.

Everyday I rethink my future. What will I do, where will I go, what career lies in store for me?
All I’ve ever wanted was to write, ever since I was in 3rd grade and started writing my first short story. Then I realized how unrealistic that thought was for me.  So I moved on, I found my passion in photography and wanted to make a career of that- until I realized that I don’t have the patience of putting up with clients. So then, I found American Indian Studies and Anthropology- which are topics I enjoy, but am suddenly realizing (halfway through my degree) that maybe that isn’t the right path for me… And so I came to Folklore Studies and plans of attending a graduate program out of state.

But that too is a fading dream. My interest in folklore is very specific, and I am unsure if I can make a professional career out of it. That leaves me here.
My junior year of college, halfway through a major that would lead me to this ideal graduate study program. But then I stop and think… Will I really be happy with that future? Will I be able to live here, close to my family? Once this didn’t matter to me. But plans change and value’s grow.

Thus, I have come to my sudden realization (one, that I can’t make up my damn mind haha but, two-) that  I should go back to my original passion.
Hell, look at me, I’m blogging- writing in it’s own form.

So what’s the new plan huh? Well, I could stay at this school even after undergrad studies and pursue a MFA in Creative Writing (one of the best programs in the country) or I could move and try to get into my original dream school-  UMN Dulluth. I have always DREAMED of living in Duluth and settling down there. It’s where my father was born, and my grandmother was raised. It’s a beautiful harbor/port city and I really can see myself pursuing a future there.

Cities like that give me such inspiration, especially in writing, so I feel as though it would be a perfect match. However, it is still 4 hours from my family, and the winters are brutal. But, if I’m going to put up with Minnesota winters- why not endure the blunt of them?

This is all still a pipedream, and a result of me trying to find myself and who I want to be.
But at least I’m figuring it out, even if I knew it all along.

PS: Someday I will own a house overlooking Lake Superior. And my office will be on the top floor with the best view in the world.


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