Following up on on an old post…

If you are here to be an asshole, that is perfectly fine. But, let me tell you, I am not a spineless pushover of a woman. I will fight you tooth and nail to get some manners out of you. That’s the way my momma and daddy raised me. Not to take shit from anyone, especially if they are hiding on the other side of the screen.

Now, let me explain the point of the infamous post How to: Treat Her Like a Queen.

I did not make that post as a cry to “Chivalry is Dead” or whatever the fuck else you want to think of it as. The message is not to tell you how women are entitled to having these things done for them, that could not be further from the truth.

NO ONE IS ENTITLED TO ANYTHING.

Can you comprehend that? Because I can, and I’m a twenty-two year old girl. There is a saying I enjoy.

“Be thankful for what you have and work hard for what you don’t.”

So… What’s the problem there? Oh, there isn’t one? As I thought.

Did I step on your pride? On your feelings? Too bad, suck it up buttercup.

My job is not to serve YOU. My job is to be myself and  to help the people I care about. I CHOOSE KINDNESS.

We should ALL choose KINDNESS.

THAT is what that post was about. So, if that’s not your cup of tea, guess what, NO ONE ASKED YOU. So take those hands you use to “tweet” all these mindless self-serving pieces of thought and DO SOMETHING with them. If you can’t find something to do, then just sit on them.

Because, as I hope your parents taught you, if you don’t have anything kind to say to someone, don’t say anything at all.

I’m done fighting on something that was never even the issue in my writing. This is a personal blog, and if you don’t like it. Please, allow the door to hit you on your way out.

Long Time, No Write – 04.07.16

Yeah, like I said, it’s been a while. But you’re still here, so that’s cool, I’ve got that going for me.

Really, there’s been a lot on my mind and I am taking this as an opportunity to rant/vent/ramble about something important to me. Though, I hope it can apply to everyone. So, here it goes:

I used to say that I wasted three years changing majors and taking classes that would be completely irrelevant to where I’d end up. Well, honestly, switching from being an art major, to an environmental science major, to an American-Indian studies major, to finally an English/Creative writing major isn’t the MOST stable college career… But, I do not regret it. Sure, I won’t graduate this Spring like most people my age. Sure, I won’t get a super extravagant high-paying job. Sure, instability in my education have created instability in other parts of my life.

But you know what?

I’m happy, when it comes down to it. I have realized, with some encouragement from my boyfriend, that it doesn’t matter if it took me longer to get where I was going. Without those three years of my life, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Without that time and those experiences, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. That time was anything but wasted. That time was valuable (and expensive, if we want to be realists).

There are people out there who think I can’t hold a steady job. There are people out there who say that I will never make money as a writer. There are people out there who flat out don’t like me. You know what, though? That’s fine. I’m not here to impress anyone, I’m here to live my life.  Like another friend of mine told me earlier today, “Fuck what other people think.”

That.

That is what I always seem to forget. It’s what everyone seems to forget. Seriously, who cares what other people think of you and how you’re living your life. Everyone has setbacks, everyone has breakthroughs, everyone has bad days, and everyone has good days. Don’t let what other people think get to you. Why do they care what you’re doing? Shouldn’t they be focusing on their own lives? Maybe that’s the thing, maybe they are so unhappy in their own life that the only thing that can make them feel better is tearing other people down. That’s their problem, not yours, not mine, just theirs.

There is a quote I like to remember, “It is none of my business what others think of me.”

Truth in its purest form. If people are going to say things about you behind your back, then it honestly does not matter. Because, if they can’t say it to your face, then either it’s not true, or they aren’t worth the time and effort. There is a difference between constructive criticism and personal opinion. I think that people need to see that difference.

Constructive criticism is giving someone advice when and where they need it, personal opinion is anything but. Don’t push your opinions on other, (also like my friend said,) just focus on yourself and let others focus on themselves.

No, not everything is going to make you happy. No, it is not everyone else’s job to make you happy. Life consists of compromise and a lot of making due with what you have. The thing is, you have to OWN it. You have to be the one to say, this is going to be great, because I’m going to make it great. 

Now, I’m not saying to completely disregard what other people think. There is an important value to having empathy and sympathy. What I am saying is, if people are going to tear you down- it’s not worth it. If people are genuinely trying to help you, then maybe you should listen. Don’t be self-centered, but don’t let others treat you like a doormat. There IS a gray area, and sometimes it’s hard to find middle ground. Just have confidence that you can do whatever you set your mind to and hopefully everything else will fall into place. Everyone has a niche in the world, the hardest part is finding it. For me, the most humbling part was finding out that it was right in front of my face all along. I’ve been writing since I was old enough to make words on paper. I remember my first journal, when I was four or five. I wrote very poorly that “I remember when I was three years old and went to Florida.” Here I am, a little more than 15 years later, still writing. I told stories before I could write, and when I could write, I wrote some of those stories down. I never stopped writing, sue I took long absences from it, but I never stopped. That’s where I am now.

I write. That is my niche. I may not know where I am going, or where I’ll end up. But I do know where I am right now, and honestly, I couldn’t be happier.

Find your own niche, stop caring what others think about you, and I guarantee you’ll be happier.

Good luck.
X
Stephanie Dixon

 

PS: How badly did I talk in circles? Pretty bad? Oops.