January 2017

Long time, no write. But, that’s nothing unusual for me, is it?

I’ve had so many thoughts in my head with no motivation to write them down. Until today, I suppose. The new year is always overwhelming for me. It’s a weird holiday jam packed right in between Christmas and my birthday which sends me into crisis mode with trying to formulate a “new year, new me” mentality. All in all, this year I gave up trying to create a “new me” after extreme stress started to eat away at me. Instead of re-inventing myself, I have realized it is more important to look at the key aspects of myself that make me the person I am. Instead of changing them, which never works, I can simply nurture them and make myself grow. This year I want to do things that will shape me into the best version of me possible, instead of distorting myself into someone I am not.

I want to embrace my inner “girl,” which has been an ongoing (and sometimes frustrating,) endeavor… I want to dress cuter sometimes, to learn to do my makeup better, to take better care of my appearance.

I want to nurture my inner “geek,” which I often ignore because it seems childish to me… I want to be proud of the things I love, like Lord of the Rings and Skyrim, not hide them in my own head.

I want to entice my inner “redneck,” which at some times I have been embarassed of… I want to be confident in the way I was raised and not care about the opinions of others based on my lifestyle.

All in all, I want to be a better person: a better friend, a better sister, a better daughter, a better auntie, a better girlfriend. I want to think less selfishly, less irrationally, be less worrisome, less lazy, and be more patient & courteous. I want to be more gracious and more compassionate. I want to live healthier and self-aware. I want to rekindle my faith, and rejuvenate my passions.

For a long time I have been stuck in my own head, but now it’s time to breathe the fresh air and take a few steps back.

Here’s to 2017 being the best year possible.