To those obsessed with Social Media.

Most of us would like to think that social media is unimportant and a waste of time. In some ways, it really is. That doesn’t change the fact that it has become one aspect of our daily lives that can strongly impact us in ways we never expected. However, it can also open many doors, as well. Social media can bring out the best in people, but also the worst. It can uproot friendships and relationships, unleashing jealousy and lack of trust. But, it can also be an opportunity to share precious moments with the people in your life.

In my opinion, I think the most important idea behind social media is much too overlooked. We are not supposed to let it engulf our lives, nor let it define who we are as people. We don’t need to share every moment of our lives. People take numerous selfies (I am guilty, everyone already knows this,) just hoping to capture the attention of the people on our “friends” list or even people we might assume might stalk around on our profiles. People obsessively keep track of who is “liking” or “friending” who, when in reality it doesn’t mean anything but the 3 seconds it took to scroll past a post.

At it’s core, social media is meant to network and to keep in touch with people you might not see often. I’ve noticed that more often than not, it’s simply an engine for drama and low self esteem.  You don’t need the approval of others to validate your life. You don’t need 50+ likes on your photos to know you’re beautiful. You don’t need to obsessively stalk your significant other to know you can trust them.

It might be hard for my generation to understand this, but a life outside of social media is much brighter than one spent scrolling on Facebook, editing your Instagram selfies, or cultivating your newest Tweet. If you spend all your time on your phone or computer, you might be missing out on some of the most important memories you are supposed to make.

Get out and enjoy real life, know you’re beautiful, trust the ones you love.

Don’t let what’s on your screen tear you apart.

x

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Wednesday Words of Wisdom – 05.04.2016

Been a while since I last posted one of these. So, forgive me if I’m a little rusty.

Today’s topic: Growing Up/Changes

Sometimes life with throw you a lot of big  changes in a short amount of time. Maybe you’re graduating or starting a new job, in the mean time maybe there are other things going on too- moving, paying off debt, trying to keep up with your friends and family, etc. When all of these things piles up, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and start to question yourself and what you want from life. Finding a balance is a good thing, even if it might be a challenge.

That’s where you need to stop worrying and realize that, more often than not, what you want has been there all along. Just because one thing in your life changes, it doesn’t mean that everything has to change. Remember things you enjoyed doing before everything went crazy, remember the people you care about and who care about you. Take time to yourself so that you can relax and not stress about things. Ask the people around you for some space, even if they want to smother you, if they really care about you they will understand.

It is hard to juggle multiple things at once, and it takes practice. But, if you’re on the right track, you’ll gain speed and become better and better as time goes on. Everyone has their rough patches, but what matters is being able to come out of them. If you can’t pull yourself out, look to the people around you, maybe they can offer you some better footing.

Most importantly, don’t forget how you got to where you are. There were troubles, there were hard times. But, you made it. You’re here. Did anyone help you along the way? Thank them. Did you achieve something you never thought possible? Be proud. All in all, never forget the people who are there to support you and don’t forget your self-worth.

We are all much better than we give ourselves credit for, and I know from my own experiences that it’s easy to overthink when things pile up. So just breathe, slow down, and appreciate everything around you. Don’t question whether you deserve to have good things in your life, and don’t worry about them disappearing. Just trust that everything is okay and be happy to be where you are. We are all blessed, and sometimes we forget that, but in the end everything will be exactly the way it is meant to be.

Have a great day.

x

Following up on on an old post…

If you are here to be an asshole, that is perfectly fine. But, let me tell you, I am not a spineless pushover of a woman. I will fight you tooth and nail to get some manners out of you. That’s the way my momma and daddy raised me. Not to take shit from anyone, especially if they are hiding on the other side of the screen.

Now, let me explain the point of the infamous post How to: Treat Her Like a Queen.

I did not make that post as a cry to “Chivalry is Dead” or whatever the fuck else you want to think of it as. The message is not to tell you how women are entitled to having these things done for them, that could not be further from the truth.

NO ONE IS ENTITLED TO ANYTHING.

Can you comprehend that? Because I can, and I’m a twenty-two year old girl. There is a saying I enjoy.

“Be thankful for what you have and work hard for what you don’t.”

So… What’s the problem there? Oh, there isn’t one? As I thought.

Did I step on your pride? On your feelings? Too bad, suck it up buttercup.

My job is not to serve YOU. My job is to be myself and  to help the people I care about. I CHOOSE KINDNESS.

We should ALL choose KINDNESS.

THAT is what that post was about. So, if that’s not your cup of tea, guess what, NO ONE ASKED YOU. So take those hands you use to “tweet” all these mindless self-serving pieces of thought and DO SOMETHING with them. If you can’t find something to do, then just sit on them.

Because, as I hope your parents taught you, if you don’t have anything kind to say to someone, don’t say anything at all.

I’m done fighting on something that was never even the issue in my writing. This is a personal blog, and if you don’t like it. Please, allow the door to hit you on your way out.

Long Time, No Write – 04.07.16

Yeah, like I said, it’s been a while. But you’re still here, so that’s cool, I’ve got that going for me.

Really, there’s been a lot on my mind and I am taking this as an opportunity to rant/vent/ramble about something important to me. Though, I hope it can apply to everyone. So, here it goes:

I used to say that I wasted three years changing majors and taking classes that would be completely irrelevant to where I’d end up. Well, honestly, switching from being an art major, to an environmental science major, to an American-Indian studies major, to finally an English/Creative writing major isn’t the MOST stable college career… But, I do not regret it. Sure, I won’t graduate this Spring like most people my age. Sure, I won’t get a super extravagant high-paying job. Sure, instability in my education have created instability in other parts of my life.

But you know what?

I’m happy, when it comes down to it. I have realized, with some encouragement from my boyfriend, that it doesn’t matter if it took me longer to get where I was going. Without those three years of my life, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Without that time and those experiences, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. That time was anything but wasted. That time was valuable (and expensive, if we want to be realists).

There are people out there who think I can’t hold a steady job. There are people out there who say that I will never make money as a writer. There are people out there who flat out don’t like me. You know what, though? That’s fine. I’m not here to impress anyone, I’m here to live my life.  Like another friend of mine told me earlier today, “Fuck what other people think.”

That.

That is what I always seem to forget. It’s what everyone seems to forget. Seriously, who cares what other people think of you and how you’re living your life. Everyone has setbacks, everyone has breakthroughs, everyone has bad days, and everyone has good days. Don’t let what other people think get to you. Why do they care what you’re doing? Shouldn’t they be focusing on their own lives? Maybe that’s the thing, maybe they are so unhappy in their own life that the only thing that can make them feel better is tearing other people down. That’s their problem, not yours, not mine, just theirs.

There is a quote I like to remember, “It is none of my business what others think of me.”

Truth in its purest form. If people are going to say things about you behind your back, then it honestly does not matter. Because, if they can’t say it to your face, then either it’s not true, or they aren’t worth the time and effort. There is a difference between constructive criticism and personal opinion. I think that people need to see that difference.

Constructive criticism is giving someone advice when and where they need it, personal opinion is anything but. Don’t push your opinions on other, (also like my friend said,) just focus on yourself and let others focus on themselves.

No, not everything is going to make you happy. No, it is not everyone else’s job to make you happy. Life consists of compromise and a lot of making due with what you have. The thing is, you have to OWN it. You have to be the one to say, this is going to be great, because I’m going to make it great. 

Now, I’m not saying to completely disregard what other people think. There is an important value to having empathy and sympathy. What I am saying is, if people are going to tear you down- it’s not worth it. If people are genuinely trying to help you, then maybe you should listen. Don’t be self-centered, but don’t let others treat you like a doormat. There IS a gray area, and sometimes it’s hard to find middle ground. Just have confidence that you can do whatever you set your mind to and hopefully everything else will fall into place. Everyone has a niche in the world, the hardest part is finding it. For me, the most humbling part was finding out that it was right in front of my face all along. I’ve been writing since I was old enough to make words on paper. I remember my first journal, when I was four or five. I wrote very poorly that “I remember when I was three years old and went to Florida.” Here I am, a little more than 15 years later, still writing. I told stories before I could write, and when I could write, I wrote some of those stories down. I never stopped writing, sue I took long absences from it, but I never stopped. That’s where I am now.

I write. That is my niche. I may not know where I am going, or where I’ll end up. But I do know where I am right now, and honestly, I couldn’t be happier.

Find your own niche, stop caring what others think about you, and I guarantee you’ll be happier.

Good luck.
X
Stephanie Dixon

 

PS: How badly did I talk in circles? Pretty bad? Oops.

 

 

How To: Surprise the girl who cannot be surprised

Some girls seem entirely impossible to surprise. I know this because I am by far one of those girls. I am one of those girls who is obnoxiously good at guessing when someone is going to do something for me, what kind of gift they’re going to give me, and where they are going to take me to surprise me.

It is infuriating to have a woman like this in your life, trust me, I know. So here are a few simple things you can do to  be unpredictable to the girl who can predict your every gesture. The key is is simplicity.

  1. Ditch the roses, pick up the daisies & wildflowers
    Instead of buying her a dozen roses, like every guy in the world does, buy her a little bouquet of random flowers… The kind most manly-men wouldn’t dream of buying.
    WHY?
    – 
    Because, when a girl knows you are going to buy her flowers, she will expect one of two things. Either you will buy the same kind you (and every other guy) think are the most romantic, roses. So don’t do that, they are pretty over rated anyway. OR she will assume you want to buy the most expensive bouquet of flowers, which are also roses. Honestly, money can’t buy genuine surprise… But creativity, originality, and spontaneity can. –
  2. Don’t hit the movies, take a drive
    If you really want to surprise your impossible girl, don’t stick to the classic dinner and a movie. Take it outside the box. Take a drive somewhere you don’t know. Find a new place to go, out of town. Maybe it’s a State Park, or even a museum. Hell, if you’re set on the movies, find an old drive-in theater.
    WHY?
    – Everyone and their parents do dinner and a movie, yes it’s a classic, and yes dinner can be romantic… But maybe that is exactly what your girl is expecting from you. If you don’t tell her where you’re planning to go, and you start driving to a new place… She will never be able to guess what you have up your sleeve. Google is a great resource for finding new date ideas. (Or if you really want to do your homework, try Pinterest. A girl’s  every dream can be found on that website.)-
  3. Don’t ask her what she wants, take a risk
    It would be so much easier to flat out ask a girl what she wants, in any sense of the word. From buying a gift for an occasion or  where she wants to go to eat. Instead, go out on a whim and pick something/somewhere out that is completely out of the blue.
    WHY?
    – If you ask her what she wants, she obviously knows what she is going to get. Even if you try to be sly and go with an idea that she has mentioned before to you, she might pick up on it easily, especially if you drop hints. So, do some digging, ask her friends/family what she likes, stalk her social media accounts (again, Pinterest is a GOLD MINE.) She will appreciate the thought much more than a blunt inquiry. –
  4. Avoid making plans, just show up on her doorstep
    This one is fairly obvious, but can be tricky if you already do this often. Instead of sending her a text or calling her, asking if she wants to go out and do something- just show up (and bring those wildflowers from the grocery store if you’re really feeling spontaneous.) She might “need a minute” to get ready, but she will be thrilled to just get up and go.
    WHY?
    – Again, pretty self explanatory. If your girl is the kind that likes to be surprised, and you’re not the kind of person to show up unannounced. Bam, it’s a huge surprise. I will warn you, she might be extremely unprepared, and you’ll want to check casually if she’s busy that night/day or not. Ask her the day before what she has planned, but don’t reveal your plan.-
  5. Less is more, little things vs. extravagance
    When you really want to surprise a girl that is impossible to surprise, stick to the small things. Mix CD’s, letters & notes, sweet texts out of the blue, etc. Any of those things will be much sweeter and spontaneous than grand gestures of affection.
    WHY?
    – Most girls expect guys to think that to suprise a girl, they have to be over the top… So, that’s what girls expect to happen. If you stick to small things, she probably won’t see them coming. If you really want to be sentimental and make an impact, maybe do multiple little things at once. But, again, I will emphasize that a little thought goes a long way.-

 

I hope you have found some sort of help from these things. I know that if someone wanted to surprise a girl like me, who is impossible to surprise, this is how I would recommend they go about it.
Good luck in your spontaneous endeavours!

 

How to: Make Her Feel Like a Queen

READ FIRST:
I am going to flat out say it. If you are a bitter middle aged-man who has nothing better to do than to attack the opinions of a twenty-two year old. You have bigger problems and should probably focus on those and not this blog post.
NOW, with THAT being said. This post is not about entitlement and “what did the woman do to deserve this treatment.” THIS is about doing something kind and thoughtful. No one is entitled to anything. So, let that sink in. If you can realize that, then great, read on. But, I am SICK of people making assumptions about women based on this one PERSONAL blog post.

THE POINT IS TO MAKE THE WOMAN YOU LOVE FEEL SPECIAL. What the FUCK is wrong with that? Huh? I’m not telling you you HAVE to go out and do all this shit. These are SUGGESTIONS that you CAN use as examples IF you want your special someone to feel GOOD.

Now grow up, read on, or get out.

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