Long time, no write. But, that’s nothing unusual for me, is it?
I’ve had so many thoughts in my head with no motivation to write them down. Until today, I suppose. The new year is always overwhelming for me. It’s a weird holiday jam packed right in between Christmas and my birthday which sends me into crisis mode with trying to formulate a “new year, new me” mentality. All in all, this year I gave up trying to create a “new me” after extreme stress started to eat away at me. Instead of re-inventing myself, I have realized it is more important to look at the key aspects of myself that make me the person I am. Instead of changing them, which never works, I can simply nurture them and make myself grow. This year I want to do things that will shape me into the best version of me possible, instead of distorting myself into someone I am not.
I want to embrace my inner “girl,” which has been an ongoing (and sometimes frustrating,) endeavor… I want to dress cuter sometimes, to learn to do my makeup better, to take better care of my appearance.
I want to nurture my inner “geek,” which I often ignore because it seems childish to me… I want to be proud of the things I love, like Lord of the Rings and Skyrim, not hide them in my own head.
I want to entice my inner “redneck,” which at some times I have been embarassed of… I want to be confident in the way I was raised and not care about the opinions of others based on my lifestyle.
All in all, I want to be a better person: a better friend, a better sister, a better daughter, a better auntie, a better girlfriend. I want to think less selfishly, less irrationally, be less worrisome, less lazy, and be more patient & courteous. I want to be more gracious and more compassionate. I want to live healthier and self-aware. I want to rekindle my faith, and rejuvenate my passions.
For a long time I have been stuck in my own head, but now it’s time to breathe the fresh air and take a few steps back.
Here’s to 2017 being the best year possible.