As a writer, I wonder…

I write about people, whether it’s blatantly in a journal, or just stolen details about them to write into my stories. I’ve written about both strangers and people I care about. I’ve written things from memories and things from imagination. I’ve seen a glimpse of a person, and written an entire character around them. I’ve lived a memory and taken inspiration from the people involved. I’ve imagined the lives of others around me, and challenged myself to think as they might. But then I wonder, has anyone done this for me?

I wonder if anyone has written something because I’ve inspired them.
I wonder if anyone has written about me, or made a character that resembles me in someway.
I wonder if anyone has written memories of me, or made some up instead.
I wonder if anyone has written about how I’ve made them feel, or how they’ve made me feel

I just can’t help but wonder.

Respect in America

Firstly, let me state a disclaimer. I am not here to offend, I am not here to start a debate, I am only here to state my own personal opinion through my 1st amendment right of freedom of speech. Let’s look at the official definition…

free·dom of speech

noun
 1. the right to express any opinions without censorship or restraint.

 Recently, I have been extremely disappointed in society.
Everyone is pointing the finger at someone else in recent events. Race, guns,corruption, etc. But, in all honestly, I think the blame lies on a lack of respect and a lack of morality.
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The United States of America is a country meant to be UNITED, as our name suggests, but instead we are being torn apart by fear and hate. Why is it so hard for our society to act like decent human beings?
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We need to respect each other.
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 We all want the same things, deep down. We all want freedom, we all want to feel safe, and we all want to be respected. So why are those things being  contested? Because, society cannot find middle ground.
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Remember the phrase, “start no shit, there will be none”?
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Respect your boundaries and the boundaries of others. If you have no boundaries, make them. We don’t have to turn to violence to solve our problems, that’s what civility and diplomacy are for. We’ve all been taught to fight for what we believe in, but fighting each other is not the answer. Violence is not the action to be taken in social issues.
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This country needs it’s people to stand together, not threatening each other.
What ever happened to the Preamble of the Constitution?   (Psst, here it is…)
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“We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”
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I still have faith in this great country, but I’m losing faith in our people. So let’s stand together and work together for our common goal. Freedom.
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“We are all Americans, we share a common land and a common life.”

Summer

I have had people tell me that they “don’t have summer” anymore. They say this because they work full time, or don’t get a summer break from school. It’s honestly one of my pet peeves to hear people say that they “don’t have summer.”

Summer is a season, it is a time of year. Saying you don’t have summer, is like saying you don’t have a birthday. It exists, whether you work or not. For us here in Minnesota, we are lucky if we get 3 or 4 solid months of warm weather. We get those 3 or 4 months to enjoy being outdoors. We get those 3 or 4 months to make memories that we cannot accomplish in colder weather.

I hate when people make excuses not to do things in the Summer. Such as, “I’m too tired.” Suck it up, buttercup, and get outside. Go do something while you can.

If you don’t enjoy the summer while it is here, you have no right to complain about being stuck inside all winter.

How far have I come?

To those who don’t know me, I may seem lazy, slow, or unmotivated. Somedays, maybe that is true. We all have those days. I will also admit, I know I do not work to my complete potential, but that’s because I know my limits. If I work as hard as  I know I can, I know I will burn out. That’s not fair to me or those around me.

This year has been hard for me; seeing many other people I graduated high school with now graduating college. I am still here, with a year of undergrad left. I have fallen behind, but not for lack of effort or lack of intelligence. I fell behind for lack of direction and lack of passion.

I should have graduated this year, and had I not changed majors three times, or transferred colleges late in my education- I would be graduating this spring. Looking back on this last semester especially, I have noticed that I am exactly where I am meant to be. I am finally in the major I love, working in a job I enjoy, and am moving ahead to the path I want to be on.

So, even if I am graduating a year behind schedule, at least I can be confident in what I am doing. As an English major, I have received more support, praise, and encouragement from my professors, my peers, and the people in my personal life than I ever have before. My grades are better than they have been since high school. I am happier, as a person, in general. But Ultimately, I feel like I am finally where I belong, so no, I do not regret being “behind” a year. If anything, I am grateful for it.

We all stumble at times, but what matters is how we pick ourselves back up and who helps us along the way.

 

Wednesday Words of Wisdom – 05.04.2016

Been a while since I last posted one of these. So, forgive me if I’m a little rusty.

Today’s topic: Growing Up/Changes

Sometimes life with throw you a lot of big  changes in a short amount of time. Maybe you’re graduating or starting a new job, in the mean time maybe there are other things going on too- moving, paying off debt, trying to keep up with your friends and family, etc. When all of these things piles up, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and start to question yourself and what you want from life. Finding a balance is a good thing, even if it might be a challenge.

That’s where you need to stop worrying and realize that, more often than not, what you want has been there all along. Just because one thing in your life changes, it doesn’t mean that everything has to change. Remember things you enjoyed doing before everything went crazy, remember the people you care about and who care about you. Take time to yourself so that you can relax and not stress about things. Ask the people around you for some space, even if they want to smother you, if they really care about you they will understand.

It is hard to juggle multiple things at once, and it takes practice. But, if you’re on the right track, you’ll gain speed and become better and better as time goes on. Everyone has their rough patches, but what matters is being able to come out of them. If you can’t pull yourself out, look to the people around you, maybe they can offer you some better footing.

Most importantly, don’t forget how you got to where you are. There were troubles, there were hard times. But, you made it. You’re here. Did anyone help you along the way? Thank them. Did you achieve something you never thought possible? Be proud. All in all, never forget the people who are there to support you and don’t forget your self-worth.

We are all much better than we give ourselves credit for, and I know from my own experiences that it’s easy to overthink when things pile up. So just breathe, slow down, and appreciate everything around you. Don’t question whether you deserve to have good things in your life, and don’t worry about them disappearing. Just trust that everything is okay and be happy to be where you are. We are all blessed, and sometimes we forget that, but in the end everything will be exactly the way it is meant to be.

Have a great day.

x

Following up on on an old post…

If you are here to be an asshole, that is perfectly fine. But, let me tell you, I am not a spineless pushover of a woman. I will fight you tooth and nail to get some manners out of you. That’s the way my momma and daddy raised me. Not to take shit from anyone, especially if they are hiding on the other side of the screen.

Now, let me explain the point of the infamous post How to: Treat Her Like a Queen.

I did not make that post as a cry to “Chivalry is Dead” or whatever the fuck else you want to think of it as. The message is not to tell you how women are entitled to having these things done for them, that could not be further from the truth.

NO ONE IS ENTITLED TO ANYTHING.

Can you comprehend that? Because I can, and I’m a twenty-two year old girl. There is a saying I enjoy.

“Be thankful for what you have and work hard for what you don’t.”

So… What’s the problem there? Oh, there isn’t one? As I thought.

Did I step on your pride? On your feelings? Too bad, suck it up buttercup.

My job is not to serve YOU. My job is to be myself and  to help the people I care about. I CHOOSE KINDNESS.

We should ALL choose KINDNESS.

THAT is what that post was about. So, if that’s not your cup of tea, guess what, NO ONE ASKED YOU. So take those hands you use to “tweet” all these mindless self-serving pieces of thought and DO SOMETHING with them. If you can’t find something to do, then just sit on them.

Because, as I hope your parents taught you, if you don’t have anything kind to say to someone, don’t say anything at all.

I’m done fighting on something that was never even the issue in my writing. This is a personal blog, and if you don’t like it. Please, allow the door to hit you on your way out.

Long Time, No Write – 04.07.16

Yeah, like I said, it’s been a while. But you’re still here, so that’s cool, I’ve got that going for me.

Really, there’s been a lot on my mind and I am taking this as an opportunity to rant/vent/ramble about something important to me. Though, I hope it can apply to everyone. So, here it goes:

I used to say that I wasted three years changing majors and taking classes that would be completely irrelevant to where I’d end up. Well, honestly, switching from being an art major, to an environmental science major, to an American-Indian studies major, to finally an English/Creative writing major isn’t the MOST stable college career… But, I do not regret it. Sure, I won’t graduate this Spring like most people my age. Sure, I won’t get a super extravagant high-paying job. Sure, instability in my education have created instability in other parts of my life.

But you know what?

I’m happy, when it comes down to it. I have realized, with some encouragement from my boyfriend, that it doesn’t matter if it took me longer to get where I was going. Without those three years of my life, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Without that time and those experiences, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. That time was anything but wasted. That time was valuable (and expensive, if we want to be realists).

There are people out there who think I can’t hold a steady job. There are people out there who say that I will never make money as a writer. There are people out there who flat out don’t like me. You know what, though? That’s fine. I’m not here to impress anyone, I’m here to live my life.  Like another friend of mine told me earlier today, “Fuck what other people think.”

That.

That is what I always seem to forget. It’s what everyone seems to forget. Seriously, who cares what other people think of you and how you’re living your life. Everyone has setbacks, everyone has breakthroughs, everyone has bad days, and everyone has good days. Don’t let what other people think get to you. Why do they care what you’re doing? Shouldn’t they be focusing on their own lives? Maybe that’s the thing, maybe they are so unhappy in their own life that the only thing that can make them feel better is tearing other people down. That’s their problem, not yours, not mine, just theirs.

There is a quote I like to remember, “It is none of my business what others think of me.”

Truth in its purest form. If people are going to say things about you behind your back, then it honestly does not matter. Because, if they can’t say it to your face, then either it’s not true, or they aren’t worth the time and effort. There is a difference between constructive criticism and personal opinion. I think that people need to see that difference.

Constructive criticism is giving someone advice when and where they need it, personal opinion is anything but. Don’t push your opinions on other, (also like my friend said,) just focus on yourself and let others focus on themselves.

No, not everything is going to make you happy. No, it is not everyone else’s job to make you happy. Life consists of compromise and a lot of making due with what you have. The thing is, you have to OWN it. You have to be the one to say, this is going to be great, because I’m going to make it great. 

Now, I’m not saying to completely disregard what other people think. There is an important value to having empathy and sympathy. What I am saying is, if people are going to tear you down- it’s not worth it. If people are genuinely trying to help you, then maybe you should listen. Don’t be self-centered, but don’t let others treat you like a doormat. There IS a gray area, and sometimes it’s hard to find middle ground. Just have confidence that you can do whatever you set your mind to and hopefully everything else will fall into place. Everyone has a niche in the world, the hardest part is finding it. For me, the most humbling part was finding out that it was right in front of my face all along. I’ve been writing since I was old enough to make words on paper. I remember my first journal, when I was four or five. I wrote very poorly that “I remember when I was three years old and went to Florida.” Here I am, a little more than 15 years later, still writing. I told stories before I could write, and when I could write, I wrote some of those stories down. I never stopped writing, sue I took long absences from it, but I never stopped. That’s where I am now.

I write. That is my niche. I may not know where I am going, or where I’ll end up. But I do know where I am right now, and honestly, I couldn’t be happier.

Find your own niche, stop caring what others think about you, and I guarantee you’ll be happier.

Good luck.
X
Stephanie Dixon

 

PS: How badly did I talk in circles? Pretty bad? Oops.